Knowledge empowers...

I have so much admiration for the parents who hire me to tutor their child/ren. And it's not because they pay me! It's the value they have for education and the understanding that it sets their child up for life of greater choices and opportunities. Tutoring complements and adds value to school experiences and can help boost independence and a positive self concept. Moreover, tutoring goes beyond the school curriculum and crosses into the development of thinking, research and important life skills. Parents who are willing to outlay their hard-earned cash to increase their child's knowledge and feelings of self-efficacy are truly remarkable. I often reflect on how I would have loved to have a tutor when I was at school! (Quote below is attributed to Bruce Lee.)

'Childmemory' by Michael Dugan

'David's Willow Tree' by Susan Clark

The following poem, Childmemory, by Michael Dugan is filled with beautiful memories and imagery. Its environmental theme is poignant and powerful. At the time of writing, this poem is not available anywhere else on the web and is almost impossible to find in published books. However, I was able to discover that it was published in Poetry Australia 32: Preface to the Seventies (1970, p. 35), which resulted in an email exchange with Michael Dugan's former colleague. I am sharing the poem in full because it is too wonderful to be forgotten forever. I encourage teachers to use this poem in their classrooms to explore the concepts of past, present and preservation. All credit goes to the brilliant Michael Dugan who composed this work.

Childmemory

Down past Macartney’s farm

beyond a wilderness of waist high thistles,

willow trees caressed the creek.

We would come to the willows

along a secret path of our own making,

to leap into their feathered greenness

and, clutching handfuls of whiplike branches,

would swing, eyes closed, above the stream,

rejoicing in motion,

with the bitter taste of willow leaves in our mouths.

Later we tied a rope to the highest branch,

and riding its arc like a pendulum,

would pause at the point of timelessness; to drop,

breaking the pool’s glass surface

into ever widening sculptured circles.

One summer night I crept silent to the willows

and swung for hours, feeling the cool sweet air on my face,

watching stars reflecting in the pool,

like trolls’ eyes staring from the black water.

Returning fifteen years later,

factories pour waste into the creek,

no one remembers willow trees.


Michael Gray Dugan (1947-2006) was an Australian poet, children's writer and editor. Born in the outskirts of Melbourne, Dugan recalled writing stories and poems as a child of eight or nine. In 1968, he first published 'Crosscurrents' magazine from the Melbourne suburb of Canterbury. He also worked as poetry editor of 'Overland' magazine and served as vice-president of the Victorian Fellowship of Australian Writers. In the 1980s, he was a consultant and an editor for the Australian Institute of Multicultural Affairs. Along with his works in children's literature, Dugan had an extensive background in Australian history. He wrote numerous historical textbooks published by Macmillan Education Australia. There are over 200 book titles in Dugan's name, including factual books, fictional stories and poetry anthologies. Other publishers he wrote for include Oxford, Jacaranda, Penguin, and Hodder & Stoughton.

Recognising your significance...

Sometimes it can be difficult to see any significance in what you do. You work hard, try your best, give it your all. You try to better yourself, learn more, give more. You do it to share your skills, your understandings, your life lessons. Sometimes, however, your reach seems so limited and your efforts worthless. At this point, it becomes harder to see your purpose in this world. I'll always remember a priest who spoke at a Sydney youth festival: "A lot goes into a person." It made me reconsider what my parents wanted for me and some of the conscious choices they made.

Each one of us is unique, the product of a myriad of experiences and teachings and interactions. Each one of us has so much to share, but sometimes the opportunity to do so is lacking. I've worked hard in my life to learn new things, improve my knowledge, be the best teacher I can be. But, I have learnt that I can't please everyone in the way they might want. If they want a 'yes-man', then I'm definitely not who they're after. If they want someone who is happy with being undervalued and disrespected, I won't ultimately work out for them either.

I've spent a lot of time in my life trying to impress the wrong people. Only now in my forties have I come to recognise my worth. All those public holidays spent studying. The many all-nighters spent planning the perfect sequence of lessons as an RFF teacher. The intricate feedback comments that were barely read by students and parents. The hours of preparation put into planning lessons or tutoring sessions.

This time and effort has amounted to something. The product is a teacher who thinks critically, who has something of great worth to share with her students. A person who has never been motivated by the pay cheque is a person who will ultimately shine as an educator. I have been very fortunate to receive fantastic feedback in recent years from parents whose children I tutor. For the first time, my teaching is being witnessed in their homes, its merits evaluated. It's like everything I have worked towards is finally seeing fruition. This was never going to happen in the school context, where my role as a diverse learning teacher is often looked down on by superiors. In schools, limits are set on what I am able to contribute, but outside of that context, the sky is the limit.

I've finally started to feel significant again.

I liked 'Aloha'

I saw 'Aloha' last night. Ordinarily, I wouldn't have gone to see it as the trailer put me off due to the military overlay (which rarely excites me); however, it was being offered as a double-feature with another film ('Far from the Madding Crowd') so I thought, Why not?

When 'Far from the Madding Crowd' was over, I wasn't too keen to stick around for 'Aloha'. I had heard nothing at all about the movie but the trailer had given enough away to make it seem sappy. It turns out that I was pleasantly surprised. 

However, at the end, everyone in the cinema seemed confused and comments of that kind circulated around the room. It was depressing to realise that I was seemingly the only person who understood the film. People had missed whole chunks of the subject matter and characterisation somehow. But for me, that was the beauty of the film--you're forced to stay active in it. You really have to pay attention because the pace is fast in the first 8 minutes. As the plot unfolds, you make sense of it as you go. The movie is like a journey--I found myself being able to identify with each of the characters in some way. It's not dissimilar to 'Jerry Maguire', except that Bradley Cooper is a more likeable protagonist.

'Aloha' is definitely more figurative than literal in nature. Like most films, you can't pick it apart too much, you just have to feel it. The film is multi-layered and moved me a lot without me expecting it (as Crowe films tend to do). It set out to achieve too much but that worked for me for the following reasons:

1) It resonates with similarities in Australia in relation to people's treatment of the indigenous population. The movie took me through a whole range of emotions, including disgust at what Gilcrest (Bradley Cooper) was there to do: abuse the trust he had somehow previously gained from the indigenous community. I think a lot of North Americans don't like the film because it makes a statement about land rights and past maltreatment of Hawaii's indigenous people. It could be considered anti-nationalist by some. To me, the film depicts the present-day reality of a people who were overturned in much the same way as indigenous Australians were. It serves as a reminder that land, culture and language were unrightfully taken away. Efforts must be made to preserve and respect Hawaii's rich heritage.

2) Similarly, I like the Hawaiian mythology that is woven into the film despite it being rather clumsy and tokenistic at times. I was reminded that the indigenous people's connection with the sky and the land is of cultural and spiritual importance. Although technological development is a reality, and we all benefit from it in our daily lives, the film touches upon the conflict between advancement and heritage. It also hints at the ruthlessness of American militarism as it expands its global strongholds in the Pacific at all costs. I like to hope that the lack of military intelligence in regards to Carson Welch's (Bill Murray) true motives was a far-fetched plot line. It is a truly scary thought that ordinary citizens of incredible wealth may be able to wield military power. It's scary enough when the US government does it.

3) It depicts a broken person, both mentally and physically, in Cooper's character--a consequence of his egotistical jaunts. It is pretty clear from the outset that he has become disconnected from himself somewhere along the way. He was so selfish in his past relationship with Tracy (Rachel McAdams), always putting his career first, but is forced to 'face the music' both personally and professionally throughout the film. It portrays his gradual transformation and growth, presumably originating from the serious injuries he sustained in Afghanistan, and culminating in his decision to cause Welch's satellite to explode. The film puts Gilcrest in the driver's seat of his own redemption. It's story of hope to anyone who finds themselves at the bottom of the heap. One may never rise again to the heights of former glories but somehow that doesn't matter any more when things are put into perspective.

4)  Bill Murray's character is repugnant and representative of North America's filthy rich individuals whose greed has no bounds. He played the character beautifully, capturing the eccentricity and narcissism that some billionaires possess. He is charged with the delivery of one of the most poignant lines in the film: "The future isn’t just something that happens. It’s a brutal force, with a great sense of humour, that will steamroll you if you’re not watching." This is so true. Life creeps up on you so fast and it can be ridiculously overwhelming. In the context of Welch's character, he deals with this by 'getting in first' and 'staying one step ahead of the game'. This is how most people think life should be approached but there are other people, more unassuming, who do get steamrolled. Perhaps they are just too honest or different or gullible. But it doesn't make them lesser people.

Everyone interprets a movie differently. To me, the movie made bold statements about militarism, globalisation, selfishness, greed, self-understanding, self-identity (the 'daughter' subplot) and loyalty. These ideas came across powerfully--I didn't have to search for them. The dialogue, acting and cinematography are very raw; you're right there amongst it and there's no escape. In this way, I think that 'Aloha' is quite a confrontational film because it really makes you question your own existence, and your affect on individuals and groups. We all play a part in this world however insignificant it seems at times. We have a choice each day in the way we interact with those we love as well as with the wider community.

Utopian World

 Sandwich Shop, Montmartre, Paris

Tablecloth Shop, Rue de Rennes, Paris

 Le Petit Mâchon, Rue Saint Honoré, Paris

 Picking out beads for a handmade necklace or two, 
Marche aux Puces de Saint-Ouen 

My father always told me that I live in Utopia--this was a criticism of me--he desperately wanted me to exit my dream world. I never fully understood what he meant. I do now. I like to be immersed in beauty, art and creative pursuits. However, this was never encouraged. I eventually found myself within the four walls of a classroom. Kids are lovely but the environment isn't. It's very stifling and repetitive and menial. And, oh, the mundanity of conning kids into learning who aren't really interested...

I find myself dreaming about holidaying in Europe again. It's this kind of escapism that really irked my father. I always resort to it when I'm frustrated. I'm back in the classroom teaching again this term--that'll do it! You just feel trapped by the constant marking, assessing and rousing on kids. And, at this school, there is a bit more of that than usual. Am I motivated by the paycheck? No. But, I had to get back into it or I would have had to sign up for a 5-year reaccreditation process. No thanks. Already spent 6 years at uni taking the profession as seriously as a person could take it, and another decade teaching thereafter...

Please enjoy my small selection of photos taken in Paris last year. Thanks to my Uncle and Aunty, who invited us to their 40th Wedding Anniversary celebration in Holland, the trip came into being.

Christmas Greetings

Vegetarian 'Christmas' Platter & Seafood Salad (background)

Hoping you all had a wonderful Christmas Day! I made my usual seafood salad (which everyone has come to expect--there is bitter disappointment if I don't!) and another tray of separate offerings for vegetarians etc. The seafood salad actually worked out a bit nicer this time. I think it changes slightly every year--I should jot down this combination of ingredients before I forget...

2014 is going to be a busy year, with lots of things on my plate. I have some new plans to improve my hobby business but I won't be pushing it too hard due to family and other commitments.

Best wishes for the New Year, and I look forward to receiving your new order requests, whether it be for handmade cards, event stationery or something else you're interested in.


2013 - Year in Review

It's been a whirlwind of a year with periods of extreme busyness, as well as a significant break in the middle when I visited family in Europe (the last time was 33 years ago!)  Travelling sure is addictive. I think it's a combination of experiencing new things as well as leaving reality behind. I always seem to be in a dream state when travelling to new places--I just love the aesthetics and beauty of different environments. Paris, in particular, is full of eclectisim and creativity. I'd love to return one day... 

Productivity has been inconsistent this year due to preparing for and going on this trip. For a couple of months I had to put everything for 'Green Gifts' on hold. Of course, I still had the pay online fees etc., but that's life! At least these fees aren't anything like the financial pressures faced by a 'bricks and mortar' store.

Despite the break (which was wonderful btw), my little hobby business has continued to grow. I am working towards it becoming a fully self-supporting business by June 2014. I have continued to diversify my handmade stationery range and have improved the quality of these products too. I have also figured out more efficient ways to communicate with customers, as this has been a great drain on my time in previous years.

On the markets front, I have been surviving, just. Tourism in the Blue Mountains has dropped due to roadworks, bushfires, inclement weather, and global economic pressures on visitors. It is getting to the stage of not being worthwhile but I will stick with it for the moment. Most days, I walk away with very little for my 8 hours at the market.

I am so glad that I have been able to persist with this hobby business. Daily creativity is so important to me and the teaching profession was gradually suffocating that love. It has been extremely hard, and many times I have nearly given up, but it is becoming a little easier as time goes on. There have been some great sacrifices, but I think it has been and will continue to be worth it :)

So, so busy!

'Starry Night Over the Rhone' by Vincent van Gogh, Musée d'Orsay, Paris

I'm certainly rejuvenated after my trip overseas. There were so many inspiring and creative moments. I'm still reflecting on them every day. Paris was such a visual feast of culture, art, beauty, food and architecture. Amsterdam was quirky, fun, contemporary and clever. However, it's been right back into it all since returning. I'm yet to scrapbook the trip (that's a dream at this point) and I'm gradually wading through the photos taken.

I never anticipated that my little hobby business could become so busy. As I have improved my products and images, there have been countless requests for customised stationery. It's still a tough gig each and every day, but it's gradually getting easier.  I'm still experiencing a lot of people who are wasting my time and, although I'm getting better at recognising them, they still manage to catch me off-guard. Not coming from a retail background, I am surprised by the number of people who do not have regard for other people's time. Examples include: unreasonable requests for very little payment, rude and impatient emails, genuine sample requests followed by nothing, invasive questions about how an item is made (for replication)...the list goes on.

It's taught me a lot about myself, about the Australian public, about the younger generation, about how artisans are viewed, about consumerism, about this crazy world we live in. But, for the first time in my life, I feel truly free. Being a hard worker by nature, and a bit of a perfectionist, it was difficult being at the mercy of a jealous boss, unfair leader, colleagues who took and never gave etc. I often felt plagued by the thanklessness of the teaching profession. It's not why you do it but, we're all human, and everyone needs some form of feedback. Even the retail world has more to offer in that department (who would have thought!)

I'm still loving the journey--have no idea if there's even a destination at this stage!

Time for a Change!

So inspired was I by yesterday's photographic journey, that I decided to change the header of this blog today. I think this might be a good thing to do once or twice a year to keep it looking fresh and interesting. I really like 'blogging' as a medium of communication and have noticed that, for many people, it has taken a back step to their Facebook page updates. As I have always found it quite difficult to self-promote, I have decided to keep my fb profile for personal connections. Many of my customers are visitors, tourists or passers-by so, at this point, I'm not sure if I can justify spending yet more time online. I've even given Twitter consideration, as everyone in the art/craft world seems to have an account, but have decided that this would just be another distraction from my real passion--creating!