What is happiness?

When we were young, most of us had dreams (most if us still do). I always had simple, fairly realistic dreams. Most of my dreams were based on feeling freedom, happiness and escaping the anguish of my home life. Since many of these dreams were met when I left home, I possibly stopped dreaming... it doesn't really take much for me to feel happy. I think too many of us agonise about holding onto this precious life on earth, wanting to experience every kind of perfection that the world has to offer. There is nothing wrong with this but it can be a trap. I think a person's reality is very much defined by what they think about and do on a daily basis. Too many of us are obsessed with a self-pleasing reality. I believe in living in the moment and being conscious of my contribution/ interactions. I am not overly into seeking some kind of ultimate goal as I find that small personal challenges just pop up every day. It's not healthy to put all of one's eggs in the same basket--there is just too much that is out of our control. I think that people in Australia sometimes don’t realise just how fortunate their lives already are. The things that they nitpick about frequently boggle my mind. Life is too short to bemoan its shortcomings; instead, I view it as an opportunity to constantly grow and evolve since not one of us was born perfect.

'Childmemory' by Michael Dugan

'David's Willow Tree' by Susan Clark

The following poem, Childmemory, by Michael Dugan is filled with beautiful memories and imagery. Its environmental theme is poignant and powerful. At the time of writing, this poem is not available anywhere else on the web and is almost impossible to find in published books. However, I was able to discover that it was published in Poetry Australia 32: Preface to the Seventies (1970, p. 35), which resulted in an email exchange with Michael Dugan's former colleague. I am sharing the poem in full because it is too wonderful to be forgotten forever. I encourage teachers to use this poem in their classrooms to explore the concepts of past, present and preservation. All credit goes to the brilliant Michael Dugan who composed this work.

Childmemory

Down past Macartney’s farm

beyond a wilderness of waist high thistles,

willow trees caressed the creek.

We would come to the willows

along a secret path of our own making,

to leap into their feathered greenness

and, clutching handfuls of whiplike branches,

would swing, eyes closed, above the stream,

rejoicing in motion,

with the bitter taste of willow leaves in our mouths.

Later we tied a rope to the highest branch,

and riding its arc like a pendulum,

would pause at the point of timelessness; to drop,

breaking the pool’s glass surface

into ever widening sculptured circles.

One summer night I crept silent to the willows

and swung for hours, feeling the cool sweet air on my face,

watching stars reflecting in the pool,

like trolls’ eyes staring from the black water.

Returning fifteen years later,

factories pour waste into the creek,

no one remembers willow trees.


Michael Gray Dugan (1947-2006) was an Australian poet, children's writer and editor. Born in the outskirts of Melbourne, Dugan recalled writing stories and poems as a child of eight or nine. In 1968, he first published 'Crosscurrents' magazine from the Melbourne suburb of Canterbury. He also worked as poetry editor of 'Overland' magazine and served as vice-president of the Victorian Fellowship of Australian Writers. In the 1980s, he was a consultant and an editor for the Australian Institute of Multicultural Affairs. Along with his works in children's literature, Dugan had an extensive background in Australian history. He wrote numerous historical textbooks published by Macmillan Education Australia. There are over 200 book titles in Dugan's name, including factual books, fictional stories and poetry anthologies. Other publishers he wrote for include Oxford, Jacaranda, Penguin, and Hodder & Stoughton.

Lifou is magical...

Santal Bay, Lifou

We've just come back from Lifou in New Caledonia and it was amazing. The colour of the water around the island, which ranged from bright aqua to deep turquoise, was absolutely stunning (my camera couldn't quite capture these vibrant hues). And there were butterflies everywhere... they were in the air all around you. It was like something out of a dream. 

 Butterfly at Easo, Lifou

The morning began with snorkelling in Jinek Bay. The coral was still in great condition despite the increase in tourism that Lifou has experienced in recent years. The local people have been very conscientious about looking after their marine environment, which is why we each needed to purchase a pass to enter the water. After that, we visited Our Lady of Lourdes chapel at the top of the hill. Butterflies filled the skies and I took some video footage of this entrancing phenomenon. Back in the village, we ate fresh papaya and mango before heading off to see the Saint Francois Xavier village church.

 Easo village church, Lifou

Next to the church, we happened upon a sign that described a visit to a fresh water pool in a cave for $10. We weren't sure what to expect as we descended a steep, rocky path bulging with buttress roots. At the bottom of the path, it was slippery and dark. I hadn't prepared and was wearing Havaiana thongs--it was a bit touch and go and I had to take it easy.

 Path to Cave at Easo, Lifou

There was a cave at the very bottom and other tourists were jumping into the deep, dark pool of water so we decided to give it a go. It was very invigorating and brought back childhood memories of jumping into freshwater pools in Australia. When it got a bit crowded down there, we walked back to Santal Bay and snorkelled near the wharf where we swam with a turtle for a while as it ate seaweed and intermittently came up for breaths of air. It was a fascinating sight to behold.

 Jinek Bay, Lifou

It was such a magical day. Time has not passed so slowly for me in years and it was all a bit surreal, like some kind of spiritual awakening. There is so much beauty in this world and we really need to nurture and protect it.

Cliches of Life

A well-circulated quote, almost a cliche, but still a great reminder for each of us to value the lives we have and to make the most of each day. I am definitely guilty of flitting my days away at times--I could be so much more than I am. But, then, I start to question my priorities. Do we live each day to yearn after some kind of worldly success? To create some kind of notoriety for ourselves? This is ultimately a futile act in my opinion. We are here to encourage others, to contribute positively to the lives of others. Life isn't about fame, fortune or prestige; it's about acting kindly, fairly and with compassion.

I get about in this wonderful city of ours (Sydney) and use public transport a lot. I've seen so many people from all walks of life over the years. I've seen traits of humility, arrogance, selfishness, loveliness, anger and downright rudeness. In the CBD in particular, these human traits are more exaggerated: people walking down the street screaming into their phones, people who are still capable of giving eye contact despite the intense busyness and noise, and people who are so damn condescending and inconsiderate that you just wonder if they have any idea at all (when was it that they lost total touch with human decency/reality?).

Everyone has a story and we're all a product of our experiences. The trick is to never lose sight of the journey and the people along the way. "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams..." Does this involve treading on people along the way? I suppose some people might interpret it like this. Afterall, in these post-modern times, it doesn't really seem to matter how people reach their destination, it's the final destination that's applauded. I interpret 'confidently' as not resting on your laurels but getting up and actually doing something. It can be so tempting to lead insular lives but that's not what true community is made of. Does this mean we rant and rave about political or social issues on facebook, etc? Well, that's certainly not my cup of tea. In fact, I've been gradually scaling down my internet presence and bemoan some of the time lost thus far. People who aren't sharing minute-to-minute via facebook are still living valuable lives. They're just doing it in a more practical way. They're out there working really hard or spending time with other people in the flesh. In terms of my own reality, I'll never live the life I imagined unless I get out and physically do it: "Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

Utopian World

 Sandwich Shop, Montmartre, Paris

Tablecloth Shop, Rue de Rennes, Paris

 Le Petit Mâchon, Rue Saint Honoré, Paris

 Picking out beads for a handmade necklace or two, 
Marche aux Puces de Saint-Ouen 

My father always told me that I live in Utopia--this was a criticism of me--he desperately wanted me to exit my dream world. I never fully understood what he meant. I do now. I like to be immersed in beauty, art and creative pursuits. However, this was never encouraged. I eventually found myself within the four walls of a classroom. Kids are lovely but the environment isn't. It's very stifling and repetitive and menial. And, oh, the mundanity of conning kids into learning who aren't really interested...

I find myself dreaming about holidaying in Europe again. It's this kind of escapism that really irked my father. I always resort to it when I'm frustrated. I'm back in the classroom teaching again this term--that'll do it! You just feel trapped by the constant marking, assessing and rousing on kids. And, at this school, there is a bit more of that than usual. Am I motivated by the paycheck? No. But, I had to get back into it or I would have had to sign up for a 5-year reaccreditation process. No thanks. Already spent 6 years at uni taking the profession as seriously as a person could take it, and another decade teaching thereafter...

Please enjoy my small selection of photos taken in Paris last year. Thanks to my Uncle and Aunty, who invited us to their 40th Wedding Anniversary celebration in Holland, the trip came into being.

I miss Paris...

 A collage of some of the photos I took in Paris

I guess it's natural for people to fall in love with vacation destinations. For a start, they're feeling relaxed as they're on holidays. Secondly, it's something different from the norm. I've always wanted to go to Paris but was never exactly sure why. I guess I sensed that it was an amazing, creative place. Upon going there, I discovered that it is not merely creative but has a certain magic about it. Sure, there were some pickpockets, opportunists etc. roaming around in different areas but the general essence of the place was extremely unique. Yes, I am possibly going out on a limb, having only spent two weeks there, but there were certain things I observed about that huge city which made it remarkable in my eyes:

1) The People. The people are amazing and make the place what it is. I love the way that French people speak at a normal volume, in a very a pleasant, almost demure, way. I also found them to be incredibly helpful and polite (bar the odd, jaded employee at busy tourist spots). Overall, I found Parisians to be very friendly and creative people. From what I observed, they do frown upon loud, obnoxious types, but politeness and appreciation goes a long way in Paris.

2) The Environment. The city has an wonderful balance between the natural and made environments. For a large city, it is also generally kept spotless. Yes, I realise that the amount of money coming into that place is astronomical, but a lot appears to be spent on keeping the city looking beautiful for the local residents as well as the many 'out-of-towners' who trawl around the place at any one time.

3) The Metro. I just love the design of the city and the Metro system is the fastest, most convenient way to get around. I had a special weekly ticket which allowed me as many trips a day as I wanted. Sometimes attractions were closed, so it didn't take long to jump on the Metro and visit another one. Even when using the Metro, there is still a lot of walking to get to actual sites. It was great to see so much of Paris this way.

4) The Sites. Paris has some wonderfully unique attractions such as the catacombs and beautifully maintained cemeteries. What I love most is the accessibility of all of the attractions. The entry prices are very reasonable and do not exclude the average person from experiencing them. There is a certain freedom one feels in Paris. Despite the hoards of tourists, the sites are still authentic and not bogged down by OH&S signage etc. I found this refreshing for such a busy city.

5) The Art. Although not a particularly 'crafty' place, Paris is very arty when it comes to traditional art forms such painting, sculpture and drawing. I observed sketch classes taking place wherever I went (such as in the Botanical Gardens), walked through to a sculpture exhibition in the middle of a town square, and saw painters in action in Montmartre and in art galleries. Many people valued sketching and painting as a leisure pursuit, which seems rather rare here in Australia. I somehow felt that I fit into the place, a place which highly values creative expression and the importance of diverse visual interpretations.

Dream a little dream...

 Seconds after taking this photo, the butterfly dropped away from its chrysalis

and started to flap its wings. It was such a wonderful sight to see...

Photo taken at Hortus Botanicus, Amsterdam

"Dream with me, escape with me, fly with me, imagine you are everything you've ever wanted to be. Dream, dream, dream..."

This is an excerpt from a song I remember vividly from a musical I performed in as a child. In many ways, I am living my dream to be creatively employed every day of my life. In other ways, however, the world is a harsh judge and laughs in the face of 'silly' dreams. On the whole, I don't let it worry me but I do need to deal with the perception that people have of me. It saddens me that people in our culture judge a person's worthiness by their occupation. Even when I was a school teacher, and an extremely dedicated one at that, people ridiculed the profession. Since having a break from it, it is amazing just how many everyday people knock teachers. It makes you feel like a real chump for ever considering the profession. The biggest shock to me has been the many thanks I receive from customers for doing what I do now. Why wasn't that thanks forthcoming over the years I toiled and served as a teacher? Truly bizarre society we live in...

I still love teaching, and can remember many wonderful interactions I've had with students. I still remember a casual day I once did in Caringbah NSW in 1998. This wonderful little Year 1 class just loved their day so much. Out of their own accord, during lunchtime, I presume, a number of them got together and wrote little notes for me which they presented at the end of the school day! I was just one random teacher in the scheme of many they must've met, yet their display of kindness for the efforts I had made in giving them a unique day whilst their regular teacher was sick, just astounded me. I still have those notes...

Since having a break from teaching, I must say that my life has been calmer. I have been able to focus on what really matters in life: savouring special interactions with people, being positive in the face of pessimism, and being an encouraging presence...

Significantly, I have had more time to look around me and appreciate just how lucky I am despite not leading the perfect life, materially, that some Aussies strive for, despite the drawbacks in my life, and despite my lack of worldly success, so-to-speak. Because life is not measured by our external representations, but by who we really are as people. I encourage you to appreciate the beauty of life, rather than gripe about the dreams that haven't yet been fulfilled. I know that it has completely changed my outlook on life, and for the better :)